adminFinding the right Christmas gift for a family member, particularly an adult child, can be a challenge. Is it the right size, will they actually use it, will it be “re-gifted?” This year, for at least one gift, you may want to try something a little different. It’s a great gift idea, especially for an adult child. Plus, it’s practical, yet life altering. It is perfect for any occasion and doesn’t actually cost all that much, yet it’s invaluable. What is this marvelous gift I speak of? It’s the gift of preparedness. It’s not brassy, big ticket or exciting, but it should be considered one of the greatest gifts an aging parent can give to their families.
We all know our time will come. When it does, your loved ones will be dealing with a lot of grief and anguish as you fall ill or pass away. They’ll also have to deal with the funeral arrangements, lawyers, healthcare providers, other family members and many others who will look to them for direction and answers. You can ease this burden during that time by having documents like a living will, powers of attorney and financial statements, and funeral arrangements drawn up and in order. Over the years I have seen many adult children having to make extremely hard choices on parents’ behalf with little or no guidance left behind from their loved one. Worse yet, when it comes to making medical decisions, a medical power of attorney or advance directive could have saved bickering between siblings on what mom would have wanted regarding medical treatment. Being proactive about the care you might want or need along with funeral planning may seem like a morbid and cringe-worthy gift, but you’d be surprised. I’ve heard many families state that, “it was a ‘blessing’ or a ‘gift’ that mom or dad had things spelled out for us upon their demise.” Furthermore, think about organ donation. It’s called the “gift of life.” Documenting and directing these aspects of life and death should also be considered a gift.
Attached is a link from the website caring.com that is great starting point to get your affairs in order.
Entitled “Five Legal Documents You Need for Your Loved Ones”, it consists of the following:
1. An advance directive
Also known as a living will or advance health care directive, this document sets out what kind of care you want to receive if and when you become ill or incapacitated.
2. A durable power of attorney for healthcare and HIPAA release
A durable power of attorney for healthcare allows designees to make healthcare decisions on your behalf if you become incapacitated. A HIPAA release gives them access to your health records and physicians.
3. A durable power of attorney for finances
A durable power of attorney for finances allows an appointee to manage your financial affairs, pay bills, sell property, and so on.
4. A revocable living trust
It allows your loved ones to retain control over their estate while making transfers of assets to beneficiaries. They designate what property (home, investments, jewelry, etc.) goes into the trust and to whom it will be granted. During their lifetimes, they act as executors of their own living trust. A revocable living trust has an important advantage: it allows their estate to avoid probate at the time of their deaths.
5. A last will and testament
A will makes clear who will receive your assets and personal property. A properly written will helps to avoid disagreements over an estate after death.
Another tip to add to this list is to share where these documents are stored to allow for easy access.
Lastly, this kind of preparedness is something that is crucial at any age, not just for our elders.
I should note that these suggestions provide a broad overview. It’s a good idea to talk with an eldercare attorney and your family physician when drafting these forms.
For additional information or if you’d like to talk with the Lifeways Coach, please call 717.591.7225 or email coach@messiahlifeways.org.
